This post presents a prayer to be recited for those who raised a Bar/Bat Mitzvah boy/girl, comprised of both original and traditional texts. One of the blessings is based on the “baruch shepatarani” blessing, where the father of the Bar Mitzvah boy traditionally releases himself of accountability for his now-adult son’s transgressions. In this version, the blessing is recited by the officiant, as opposed to the parent, and there are a number of formulations offered, depending on the gender of both the adult(s) and the bar/bat mitzvah boy/girl. Written by Reconstructionist Rabbi Alex Weissman, this blessing was shared on Ritualwell, a project of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College that provides a platform for creating new Jewish practices and observances.Â
Blessing the Parent/Caregiver(s) of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah
May the Holy One who blessed our ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bless you today, _________________ in honor of God, in honor of Torah, in honor of community, and in honor of leading your child/ren on a path of Torah. May you continue to speak Torah with them, when you are at home and when you are away. May the teachings you provide her/him deepen in ahava, rachamim, chesed, v’shalom. May you be blessed with the wisdom to know your child not only as student but also as teacher, allowing him/her to change and guide you, as you have guided her/him.
Blessed is the One who grants growing independence to your child.
Blessed is the One who makes space for the growth of another.
Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu melech ha’olam, shehechiyanu, v’kiyamanu, v’higiyanu, lazman ha’zeh.
*Constructing the right bracha:
Select the first half of the bracha based on who is receiving the bracha (e.g. one mother, two dads, a grandmother and a father, etc.) and the second half of the bracha based on who is being celebrated as bar/bat/b’nei/b’not mitzvah (e.g. one girl, two boys, etc.)
First Half
Baruch sheh’p’tarchem (mixed gender or men)
Baruch sheh’p’tarchen (more than one woman)
Baruch sheh’p’tarcha (one man)
Baruch she’p’tareich (one woman)
Second Half
mei’onsho shel zeh (one boy)
mei’onsha shel zo (one girl)
mei’onsham shelahem (mixed gender or boys)
mei’onshan shelahen (girls)